Porn Small Ads

Issue 2. January 2008

Just click on any ad for instant results!

Matchmaking & Dating
Looking for love? Or maybe to get laid! Who isn't? Join for free and browse thousands of ladies from all over the world who are looking for relationships of all kinds.
Fancy a fling? So do all our members. Genuine photos. Mostly babes, few dogs.
Blonde blue-eyed 23yr old babe, new in town. Looking for a hot blind date. Always up for some discreet fun. Contact Kenzie.
Date women today. Learn the secrets of picking up beautiful women no matter what you look like. Unless you are butt ugly.
Dating agency. Free to join. Thousands of women to choose from. Get in early and snap up the newbies before someone else does!
Brides wanted for USA men. Girls who want the good ife in America are needed. Girls must be very good looking and know how to cook and clean.
Clothing
Large quantity used shoes. Very worn and quite smelly but still plenty of wear left in the right hands (or feet).
Ladies gloves. Lots of different styles. Many sizes. Fortunately all are machine washable.
Ladies high heels, size 7. Worn once. Free to good home.
Thongs. Large bag of thongs, size small. Need a good washing before use. Supplied unsorted.
Knee high socks. Suitable for school wear. Size 6. No darning required. Slightly sticky.
Adult Toys

The Ultimate Fake Pussy! Thousands of satisfied customers agree that the Fleshlight is the next best thing! Find out why they are right.

Extreme restraints. Does your slave wriggle around too much? Submissive getting out of hand? Put them in their place with us.
Free gift with every order! Come to the Fetish Superstore for all your fetish needs.
Business Opportunities


Jump on the porn bandwagon now. Build your own porn megasite and start promoting it to earn big bucks!

Education & Training
Slave Academy. Online training for slaves. Strict Mistresses demand total obedience under threat of extreme punishment.
Attract women now. Would you like more babes than you can shake a stick at? If so this is what you need right now.
Boys boarding school. Corporal punishment a speciality. All teachers fully trained in cane wielding.
Girls boarding school. Strict discipline environment for unruly girls. Our students always do their homework. Mostly.
Lightspeed university. Extra-curricular activities particularly encouraged. Excellent cheerleading team. Nice.
Events
Frathouse Fuckfest. Bring plenty of beer and your cocks, we'll supply the babes.
Batchelor Party. Definitely not your average party. Strippers are booked, all welcome!
Cock sucking championship. Tonight and every night. Place your bets on which chick will get the cock to pop first.
Frat House Party. You know the score. Booze and chicks. Is there more to life?
Mother & Baby

Nannies available. One time babysitting or longer term care. References available. Contact us for an immediate interview.

Breastfeeding advice. Lactating mothers' group give regular demonstrations on efficient milk production.
Vehicles for hire

Spacious van available. Takes up to 6 people in the back and 2 in the front. Suspension shot but great for stationary use. LA area.

Limo for hire. Luxurious travel in style. Don't worry about the seat stains, they will come off.
Bang bus. Great for touring around the country and entertaining lots of hot young babes. No toilet on board.
Job Vacancies
Scholarships for female students. Need some extra finance for college fees? Cash available for female students following selection process.
Female and desperate for money? Easy money for no outlay. Earn as little or as much as you like. Flexible hours.
Housewives - earn extra cash. Looking for some money to help out with all those seasonal expenses? Call Dave now, in confidence. 076969 690069
Miscellaneous
Mind Control. Ever wanted to be like Derren Brown and David Blaine? Amaze and impress your friends with this incredible publication. No time wasters.
Evidence eliminator. Every time you use your computer evidence of your activity is stored. This software helps keep it secret!
Gadgets
Banging machine for sale. Good working order with lots of attachments. Needs a good clean. Buyer collects.
Sybian for sale. If you don't know what it is you probably don't want one. If you do it's worth it's weight in gold.
Robot for hire. Limited abilities. No washing, ironing or cleaning. Only has tit suckers and a fake cock. $1/day
Business Services
Elite secretaries. Our secretaries and business support staff also give that little bit extra.
CCTV installation and servicing. Tiny cameras can be installed anywhere for your security and entertainment. Washrooms a speciality.
Plumbing
Bespoke toilet bowls. Looking for something a bit different in your bathroom? Our attractive toilet bowls may be just what you're looking for!
Drainage system training. Apprenticeship available for females only, wishing to improve their knowledge of plumbing. 18-23 only please.
DVD & Video

3,000 DVDS! Adult type, all sorts. Watched many times but still excellent condition. $9.95
Box of home movies. Found in attic. Unwatched and unsorted. Sold as seen. $30
Personal Services
Knot tying. Ideal for keeping unruly individuals under control. Extensive instructions given.
Catering & Food
Fat Joe's cafe. This week's special: buy one get five free. Tasty starters and totally satisfying desserts.
Gourmet dishes. Chicken bang bang, Chili con cock and 100% man meat hot dog. The best in town. Come with a friend.
Accomodation Available
Room for rent. 1 room out of 3 bedroom townhouse in the heart of Amsterdam. Price is VERY negotiable. Ask for Mike.
Vacations
Dixie's trailer park. A vacation you won't forget. Open all year round. Clothes optional.
All male nudist camp site. No families or couples allowed due to to swinging cocks on show.
Las Vegas. Spend a few nights on the strip in the company of beautiful latin women without spending the earth.
Beach vacations. Want to relax and unwind? Then this isn't the holiday for you, unless hot willing women make you chill.
Sunny Mallorca. The beach holiday of a lifetime. Pack your case and you'll be there in minutes.!
Books & Magazines
Large quantity of Genesis magazine. Pristine condition. Adults only. A revelation!
Japanese Anime. Large collection - mostly adult themes. A few dog-eared pages otherwise excellent condition.
Adult comics for sale. Mixture of many topics including BDSM and anime. A few sticky pages most are pristine. Great value!
Illustrated stories for women. Very large compendium with many high quality illustrations.
Cleaning Services
Latin Maids. Attractive latin ladies very experienced and fully trained. Uniform optional.
Maid service. Full service offered. Our trained uniformed ladies will ensure that everything is clean, top to bottom.
Office Services
Secretarial services. Need a personal assistant? Looking for a receptionist? Then look elsewhere because our gorgeous babes are best at sucking and fucking.
VIP entertaining. Important business clients will be sure to sign on the dotted line after your exclusive VIP party.
Computers
Make your computer work for you. Learn how to pick up as many women as you want online. Fool proof techniques that will get you laid again and again. No dog guarantee. Right.
Health & Beauty
Dr Horny. MD in female anatomy and gynaecology. Swellings and tenderness a speciality.No appointment necessary.
Female doctors offer confidential service. We guarantee you'll leave feeling better.
Discreet medical examinations for women. Gyno, enemas, rectal exams. sorry, no refunds.
Dietrine carb blocker. Helps reduce your body putting on fat by blocking enzyme activity. Don't diet, block the carbs!
Fetish Hospital. Our dedicated and experienced staff are ready to help with a wide range of medical problems. Modest fees.
Breast reductions. None carried out yet but a huge database of 'before' photos to browse.
Had an accident? You may be entitled to compensation. Alternatively come and model for us as a gimp girl!
Nursing agency. Nurses available 24/7 for all your needs. Rates depend on services offered.
Hospital services. Complete ward service offered by experienced doctors and nursing staff. Guaranteed results.
Import/Export Items

Imported models.Soft tops, automatic, manual and all colours. Something for everyone.

Top quality Asian products. You won't find better. Never mind the quality feel the tightness.